The Smell Of The Idiocracy

In a way, it is a blessing to be poor now, in this land of extravagance. All of the wonderful shopping opportunities - shining Christmas windows, endless aisles of similar yet different products at the supermarket -- are not really available to me. In the smaller sphere of my existence, I am surprised by the mundane, new sensations. Everything in a house has a smell - objects and substances used to clean them. Those supposedly subtle smells are constantly overpowering my nose. It seems that the people who test for scent subtlety are obvious scent overloaders themselves. Now, I have to be careful not to breathe too deeply or I will feel a little sting, like the way chlorine products burn away your smell sensors.

Wasn't Malawi full of smells? And unpleasant senses? Sure we all used latrines. But if you have pretty good aim, and a nice deep pit below you, no problem. No lingering pee smells or what have you. Nobody wore deodorant so there was definitely some bo B.O. But that's what wind is for. Rain smells great. Burning/clearing of fields is unsightly and makes a lot of ash, but the smell isn't so bad. Kinda like a cookfire. Sickness is stinky - but no Malawian would ever let an azungu see him in a visibly sick state. I wasn't too sick myself, but I do have some pungent memories of when my cat yakked tuna all over my yoga mat. That was only a one-time occasion; what I experience now is a constant barrage.

It hasn't been easy on my eyes either. Grad school applications? Hours on the computer. Some days many hours. Early morning hours, afternoon hours, night hours. Job apps, same deal. Everyone wants you to register for THEIR career postings website. Just another flavor of vanilla. (My apologies to vanilla ice cream lovers) More hours trying to decide how to fit yourself into some nice, neat webpage drop down menu. Have I had secretarial experience? Sure, that was under 'leadership' in my college activities on my resume. But it was also a winter fill-in position at a teeny company my Dad worked at 10 years ago. So.. sure, why not! I'll say yes until I get a bite and have to prove it.

We love our modern conveniences in America. New, improved versions keep coming out all the time. But why can't they coexist with my senses? Or perhaps I am the one who is an antagonist to the system, not the other way around. I need to buck up and get used to the onslaught.

Thank goodness for misadventures like accidentally walking 10 miles with Miss E. next to the Patapsco river in winter. The only threat of overstimulation there was the idea that we might have to ford the icy river on foot, since the only bridges available were railroad bridges (quite active at that -- 2 trains passed during those hours). Could have been cold and uncomfortable. But we just walked on, and eventually there was a way out. But as for my nose, there's no way I'll sacrifice dignity and wear a nose plug.. so the way out is: through.