I fully took on the role of Big Sis for the first time this summer - and really enjoyed it. It's a funny feeling to accept being looked up to: initially, I failed to spot it, but after a while, I realized that what I learned from my experiences in college, in romance, and in the working world have given me a unique ability offer guidance to other people my age or younger. This came in handy with a huge crop of interns arriving at CHEJ in June and departing in early August. Until this summer, I didn't know what a difference there can be between 20 and 23!
Part of the sudden realization is that I can almost feel how much I've grown in the past 6 months or so -- like mental stretch marks. Working in the non-profit sector and gearing up for Peace Corps has separated me from a deep-seated selfishness I've had lurking for a long time. I finally found something to give myself to. In college, I selfishly pursued a degree so I could someday make money (losing lots of my zest in the process); in college, I selfishly pursued a relationship so I could feel good about myself and have an outlet for my energies. Now, although I have learned the value of money in being able to provide for future endeavors from talking to those with 30, 40 years on me, I have learned the value of giving and loving first-hand. Striking a balance is going to be hard, because vilifying money comes to me almost as a reflex to abundance, but walking that line is essential.
I've also matured as a result of a very protracted break-up of my most meaningful tryst to date. I've had tons of time to reflect and re-reflect on my actions, his actions, and everything else, such that I can understand now the objective reasons that we were not right together, quite apart from any feelings involved. I accept that with no feelings of regret or desire for revenge. It makes me sad sometimes, to finally be able to see his flaws. Love was blinding - it took a sudden sharpening of focus to know that.
As a counselor for my friends' relationships, romantic and otherwise, I find I can easily detect patterns of emotionally charged action-reaction so I try to help them to see the big picture. If only someone had done that for me! But it's a little strange to feel like a Big Sis to my friends; won't they realize how they could be thinking their way to being happier? I wouldn't deny them any support they need, though -- someday, I know they will be offering sisterly words of wisdom in my time of need.
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
7.8.08
This isn't a film blog, is it?
I'm lucky to have seen two great films this week.
The first, a showing of The Judge and The General, thanks to the Institute for Policy Studies and their obsessed Latin American issues staff. It was at The Avalon, not far from the Friendship Heights metro. Patricio Guzman, who is the famous documentalist of Chile (especially on the topic of the dictator Pinochet), was a coproducer. After the film, the judge himself sat in front of the audience to provide some lengthy answers to some heavy questions. I was mostly basking in the glow, but what the story is compelling: a priveleged judge awakens to the horrors inflicted on the people of Chile by Pinochet, and becomes the very first in Chile to indict him for the murder of los desaparecidos (the disappeared ones).
Tonight it was Into the Wild, which I watched with my parents while home for some birthdays. Great, great cinematography (half of that was thanks to nature for being so abundant) for a really beautiful, and ultimately tragic, story of a troubled guy who sets out to live on shoestrings, on a circuitous journey into Alaskan wilderness, in order to cope with his childhood and "society" that plagues him. Instead, he ends up finding out what true happiness is.. while leaving behind a trail of acquaintances he touched. This one hit a little close to home for me and probably my parents too. Africa is a wilderness to us here in the states, and I certainly don't appreciate how harsh I can be on my parents with my decisions.. but I know I won't truly be alone where I am going. This film will stay with me for a good long while.
The first, a showing of The Judge and The General, thanks to the Institute for Policy Studies and their obsessed Latin American issues staff. It was at The Avalon, not far from the Friendship Heights metro. Patricio Guzman, who is the famous documentalist of Chile (especially on the topic of the dictator Pinochet), was a coproducer. After the film, the judge himself sat in front of the audience to provide some lengthy answers to some heavy questions. I was mostly basking in the glow, but what the story is compelling: a priveleged judge awakens to the horrors inflicted on the people of Chile by Pinochet, and becomes the very first in Chile to indict him for the murder of los desaparecidos (the disappeared ones).
Tonight it was Into the Wild, which I watched with my parents while home for some birthdays. Great, great cinematography (half of that was thanks to nature for being so abundant) for a really beautiful, and ultimately tragic, story of a troubled guy who sets out to live on shoestrings, on a circuitous journey into Alaskan wilderness, in order to cope with his childhood and "society" that plagues him. Instead, he ends up finding out what true happiness is.. while leaving behind a trail of acquaintances he touched. This one hit a little close to home for me and probably my parents too. Africa is a wilderness to us here in the states, and I certainly don't appreciate how harsh I can be on my parents with my decisions.. but I know I won't truly be alone where I am going. This film will stay with me for a good long while.
23.6.08
My family, the chore
Do you know how nice a feeling it is when someone or a group of lovely someones works out all the details and absolutely ensures that your happiness is the only concern for you when it's your birthday? Even if they haven't thought of everything, people doing things like this routinely will check for verbal confirmation that yes, you are indeed enjoying your special day.
That's not what it was like when I went home for my Birthday.
So what happenned? I'm not going to say. I try to avoid going into details on personal matters on here and in general; I don't believe bitching or feeling depressed and doomed by genetics is anywhere near productive. But I did get an important lesson out of this.
As phrased by a good friend: "The only thing a child owes a parent is his or her own happiness."
Well put.
That's not what it was like when I went home for my Birthday.
So what happenned? I'm not going to say. I try to avoid going into details on personal matters on here and in general; I don't believe bitching or feeling depressed and doomed by genetics is anywhere near productive. But I did get an important lesson out of this.
As phrased by a good friend: "The only thing a child owes a parent is his or her own happiness."
Well put.
15.6.08
Ode to Dad
I may not seem the most likely of authors for a Father's Day ode in prose -- I've been known to wonder aloud things like, "Where did I come from?" -- but today is a good opportunity to reflect on some lessons and traits I'm glad my Dad shared with me.
The importance of Laughter
One thing that was definitely not lacking in my childhood home was laughter -- my parents laughed at the world and at themselves. I like to think I have a healthy portion of humor to apply to daily life as a result. Sometimes scary situations have been best remedied by the ability to shake off the seriousness and awaken yourself to the absurd. Was the monster in the horror film giving you the chills about walking home alone? Oops, there's his zipper - but maybe even funnier are the cinematic heroes in their stoic quest to battle weird forms of evil. I'm always busting out laughing in apocalyptic movies.
Mercy for Animals
I sometimes think Dad has more sympathy and understanding for the needs of dogs and squirrels than he does for his fellow humans; he did admit to wanting to be a squirrel as a child. But mercy for animals is an important lesson in caring for the world and its creatures -- including other people -- which we find all around us. I'm glad I grew up with dogs (well, since 4th grade) and learned from that easy, symbiotic relationship the value of companionship, too.
How things Work
At the heart of a lot of his hobbies, my Dad is a true engineer - he appreciates an understanding for how things work. Mechanistic relationships govern the way he sees the world - and that's enabled him to become a do-it-yourself expert. I'm glad to have been shown first-hand that anyone can find out how something works in order to fix it or to build anew. Though most of my Dad's hobbies revolve around home improvement (how fondly I remember that 90's TV show!) as well as automobiles, the lesson for me was that I could use my brain to solve problems. Being a woman was never a barrier for me, or for my Dad's willingness to involve and explain.
My Dad is my Dad and though I may sometimes want to change him, these are just a few of the things well worth keeping. Time to go hit some tennis balls with the old man!
The importance of Laughter
One thing that was definitely not lacking in my childhood home was laughter -- my parents laughed at the world and at themselves. I like to think I have a healthy portion of humor to apply to daily life as a result. Sometimes scary situations have been best remedied by the ability to shake off the seriousness and awaken yourself to the absurd. Was the monster in the horror film giving you the chills about walking home alone? Oops, there's his zipper - but maybe even funnier are the cinematic heroes in their stoic quest to battle weird forms of evil. I'm always busting out laughing in apocalyptic movies.
Mercy for Animals
I sometimes think Dad has more sympathy and understanding for the needs of dogs and squirrels than he does for his fellow humans; he did admit to wanting to be a squirrel as a child. But mercy for animals is an important lesson in caring for the world and its creatures -- including other people -- which we find all around us. I'm glad I grew up with dogs (well, since 4th grade) and learned from that easy, symbiotic relationship the value of companionship, too.
How things Work
At the heart of a lot of his hobbies, my Dad is a true engineer - he appreciates an understanding for how things work. Mechanistic relationships govern the way he sees the world - and that's enabled him to become a do-it-yourself expert. I'm glad to have been shown first-hand that anyone can find out how something works in order to fix it or to build anew. Though most of my Dad's hobbies revolve around home improvement (how fondly I remember that 90's TV show!) as well as automobiles, the lesson for me was that I could use my brain to solve problems. Being a woman was never a barrier for me, or for my Dad's willingness to involve and explain.
My Dad is my Dad and though I may sometimes want to change him, these are just a few of the things well worth keeping. Time to go hit some tennis balls with the old man!
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