Change and habit

The benefits of habit and regularity don't usually present themselves to me in a favorable light, but in the past few days, the ideas have snuck in and refused to budge.

Theoretical. In The Relaxation Response, Herbert Benson (M.D.) defines stress, in the context of hypertension, to be any necessary change in one's behaviors. So when subject to stress-inducing changes, a person becomes more likely to become ill: widows 12 times more likely to die than others their age. That's the old romantic (!) story about the remaining spouse dying of a broken heart - but now there's scientific proof?

So if change is a health risk, what's invigorating? Or is "vigor" dependent on the heart's ability to withstand an exciting strain - a little like the breathlessness of living to tell the story, be it from getting by in a new city, succeeding in a new job role, or completing a century on your road bike?

Personal. The women on my Mom's side of the family seem to regard themselves as doomed to repeat mistakes and unhealthy behavior - while admitting guilt (and sometimes even declaring it!). Have they capitulated to some concept of habit? Or does it have real sway? How to understand this without more years under my belt? Sometimes, I wonder about how much predilection for martyrdom the Catholic upbringing might have left behind to make it possible to condemn oneself knowingly, but this idea that a person isn't able to change seems simply ridiculous.

I believe: We are all capable of learning, and at any age. I appreciate more and more the continuing education centers run by colleges nationwide, and hope I'll be able to avail myself of them eventually.

New Year's resolutions are a common form of condoned change - so is habit why we often fail?

Honestly, I find an arbitrary date like Jan 1 to be a stupid one to choose for making a change that you're convinced is appropriate for you. If a person wants to make a change, they'll think about it and then take the plunge then. Waiting seems to increase disingenuousness - and hence failure. At least at ritualized attempts at change is a step toward taking life into your own hands, but I'd like to see people find a way to be successful instead of simply following a January fad and forgetting by Valentine's Day, when exercise plans are easily abandoned for some gourmet chocolates.

Back to habit again - should life be the alignment of one's normal activities with one's ideals until sufficiently satisfied .. and then bring on the calcification?

Life to me seems like an abundant buffet, expanding at [someone else's] will. The moment I choose a habit, do I deny that myriad of fragrant choices? I can't easily imagine turning a blind and forgetful eye to the multitude of interesting ideas, people, hobbies, etc. But neither can I imagine joy without discovery. Even if that discovery lies in appreciating what is already here to stay.

I can't draw a conclusion yet.
I'm suspicious that my self-imposed definitions are muddled - and that habit may not be exclusive of newness. In my own case, it seems a fusion may be called for. Maybe I'll be victim to my own ancestry eventually - so this may all be for naught! But, I'd like to think not.